As I Have Gotten Older...

• Do as you say.


• Think before you speak.


• Speak the truth.


• Treat others as you would like to be treated.


• Share.


• Mind your manners.


• Follow your heart.


• Forgive and forget.

We were taught these things as little children, but if you are anything like me, as an adult I am still learning them. And what do these really mean as an adult anyway? They seem so simplistic. When we were little kids the decisions were pretty easy and the consequences were predictable.

As I have gotten older (some would say "old") things have gotten much more complicated, especially when you are trying to explain to a tweener, teenager, or young adult. They will call you on things they see as black and white. They may even call you a hypocrite, using that term and knowing what it means. While shades of gray seem to grow as we get older, truth is still truth.

As I have gotten older I have become pretty good at justifying my actions and my thoughts in my own mind first. I try to do this before I actually do what I am going to do or say what I am going to say, rather than after the fact. That is easier to do on the big things and much harder on the day-to-day, live-life-as-it-comes pace of normal interaction with others, you know, when you just have to react to things. Getting older means getting more set in one's ways and thinking, too, which makes it harder to always react with patience and contemplation because you already know so much.

As I have gotten older I better understand the need to have a checkpoint at the link between thought and words. I have a better understanding of what Mom meant when she told me to bite my tongue. Just because something pops into my head doesn't mean I should clutter up anyone else's with it. Some things are just better kept for one's own enjoyment or misery.

As I have gotten older I have learned how important it is to do what you say you are going to do and not over-promise and under-deliver. That's not always easy either because I think I can do so much, everything really, and I am still learning to say 'no' sometimes and work to manage expectations. The saying, "Under-Promise and Over-Deliver" runs through my mind daily.

As I have gotten older I have worked to regain and further hone my sense of empathy for others. I had it as a kid, believe it or not, then lost a bit of it in my early adult years as I focused on myself and my desire to achieve and become. In dealing with my children from the time they were pups and now into late teenage-hood I have tried to remember what it's like to be their age. I'm sure if you ask them right now, I have failed miserably at putting myself in their shoes, but hopefully one day in the not too distant future they will think otherwise.

As I have gotten older I have tried to take the idea of sharing with others to include serving others. This is a constant challenge, for it is easy for me to share an old coat or pair of slacks by giving them to charity, but much tougher to get in my car and drive to see and meet the people who need my coat and old slacks. I'm working on that.

As I have gotten older it is actually easier for me to mind my manners most of the time. I don't drool; I use a napkin; I put the seat down and close the lid when I'm finished; I wash my hands regularly; and I usually pick up after myself, eventually if not immediately. And I really try not to offend people when I first meet them. If after awhile the opportunity arises to do so, well that's another matter, of course.

As I have gotten older I am just now beginning to realize what it means to follow your heart. That saying is heard over and over again throughout life and I have always been so admiring of those who have truly found their passion and have pursued it with vigor, inevitably finding success and happiness. I am working on that. I really am, because I know no one else will do it for me or hand it to me with a set of instructions. I have to find my own way on this one.

As I have gotten older I more appreciate and understand the gift of forgiveness and the art of forgetting. There are always things in life which don't go as planned or as hoped. People around us don't always act as we think they should and they don't always say the right things. Neither do we. Neither do I. But I do know the load becomes lighter when you forgive and forget.

As I have gotten older the best is still to come.